Jobs in Hell 1999

JOBS IN HELL EXCERPTS FROM Brian Keene's JOBS IN HELL 1999

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JOBS IN HELL Volume One, Issue Five

This issue is dedicated to Des Lewis, a true scholar and a gentleman, not to mention the undisputed star of the small press. Visit his website at http://dflewis.cjb.net/ or read a recent interview with him at http://www.mindspring.com/~toones/Whimsy.html.



TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. From The Editor 2. Market Listings (Special Mega-Sized Holiday Section) 3. Who, What and Where 4. Special Feature: Whither Ubiquity? by DF Lewis 5. Classifieds

FROM THE EDITOR:

The Holiday Season is once again upon us. Time to gather with the relatives that we avoid the rest of the year, send cards to folks whose addresses we've misplaced, gorge ourselves until our waistline vanishes, spend that last royalty check at the mall and basically not get anything creative done until January.

So, before the seasonal slothfulness creeps in, let's have one last mega-submission blast! You'll notice that there are no Market Updates in this issue. Don't worry, they'll be back next issue. This week, I wanted to make room for an extended Market Listings section. Hope you've all got plenty of paper in your printers, because it's BIG!

Also featured this issue is a brand new non-fiction piece by the ubiquitous DF Lewis. Those of you who are unfamiliar with that name have obviously been living under a rock for the last decade. Pick up any small press publication and you're bound to find a story by Lewis sooner or later. He admits to writing and seeing accepted over 1,200 different stories (although some claim that the figure may be as high as 2000). How did he do it? Find out this issue!

Happy Holidays!

(Aren't you sick of hearing that already?)

Brian Keene





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JIH SPECIAL FEATURE:

WHITHER UBIQUITY?

BY DF LEWIS

It's as if it's my real name: the Ubiquitous DF Lewis (called this so many times, I've lost count), even called "the ridiculously prolific DF Lewis" in a recent organ! How do I manage this? Or, perhaps more important, why?

Well, some have claimed that I play on my reputation to get so much stuff published (at the last loose count--over 1200 different stories in touchable organs like magazines and books from 1987). I counter-claim it is DESPITE my reputation that I've managed to achieve what I have achieved. I've been hauled over the critical coals so often--sometimes so devastatingly--I wonder why anyone continues to bother publishing the little rotters at all. But still they crank out, as best as I can muster them for the neat ranks of dead insects that some call print.

I suppose I started with a splatter-gun method of submitting, spraying all manner of stories to all manner of unlikely outlets. Some hit. Most missed. But some hit real big. I've been lucky, too. Some real nice people who knew their stuff took me under their wing and showed me how to crest the sometimes-thin thermals of creative writing. I played on my strengths and weaknesses, by beginning to quote in my blurb all the critical comments made about me—-and I mean ALL. By experience, I learned to target my submissions, but this was only perfected after about six or seven years of doing it. Luck continued apace. Knowing people, rubbing shoulders, pressing flesh, all these things HELPED. Also—-and it wouldn't be fair to leave this out—-in order to work my method above, you'd need some capital to pay for the postage and materials, especially with so many missed targets, 'black holes' and fruitless acceptances. (It's easier now, I guess, with the Internet.) I have never made any money from writing and never expect to do so.

Anyway, back to answering "how"--I started a few years ago something I've never regretted. Collaborating stories. Better than sex, I'd say. The mutual creative brainstorming is something else! And I believe some gems have been produced and have helped me through many a writer's block. Helps you get published when you're having it away with someone more famous than you! I could go into the philosophical/linguistic background to collaborating the way I do, but that is probably another article, some time.

I even collaborate, in effect, onanistically—-utilizing old unused pieces from the different think-world of an earlier, discrete self, mix-and-matching them with my current brain cycles. And talking about brains, mining a brand new story from fresh ore is also like collaborating … if you've got two brains, as I have! (Perhaps being a thick-skinned eccentric also helps in any venture; not that I've consciously nurtured this persona. I just am.)

I digress. I think I've covered the main points to answer "how". As to "why"? Simple. Because DF Lewis believes what he writes is worthwhile. And, at the end of the day, that is hopefully the main answer to the question "how", too.



DF Lewis was never born--he emerged in ineluctable slow motion. Des, however, his counterpart, was born 18 January 1948 in Walton On Naze, Essex, UK. Sun in Capricorn, Leo Rising, Pluto/Saturn close to Ascendant, highly aspected Moon in Aries and Jupiter in Sagittarius, two Grand Trines etc. School in Colchester, Essex. Lancaster University (1966-69 where he met his wife. Two children, (28) and (25). 1970-1992 Company Pensions expert. Lived in Croydon (South London) during that period. Now lives in Clacton on Sea, Essex. 1200+ different stories published in print outlets since 1986. His novella AGRA ASKA published to critical acclaim during 1998-9, but few seem to have read it. Received British Fantasy Society Karl Edward Wagner award in 1998. Now his website hosts an electronic forum called Weirdmonger.





CLASSIFIEDS:

Our classified section reaches over 300 professional and beginning horror authors, artists, poets and editors each and every week. The cost for an advertisement is only $10 per month. There is no word limit (within reason). To inquire about placing an advertisement, email jobsinhell@hotmail.com. Please be sure to mention "Classifieds" in your subject line.



TIM LEBBON's "The First Law" is now available as an audio book from Elmtree Publishing. At 2 hours 45 minutes long it's a bargain at $11.95US. Email Elmtree for ordering details. elmtree@uniserve.com

TOM PICCIRILLI's Deep Into That Darkness Peering (Terminal Fright Publishing): An omnibus collection of 40 horror and dark fantasy stories, 200k words. 30k words of previously unpublished fiction. Includes all ten tales in the "Self series." Introduction by Poppy Z. Brite. Cover and interior art by Chad Savage. $45 + $3.50 s&h for Signed-Limited Hardcover Edition (1,000 copies) ISBN: 0-9658135-5-X $125, includes shipping, for Lettered Edition, leather-bound and traycased ISBN: 0-9658135-6-8. Ordering Info: PO Box 100, Black River NY 13612 Fax #315-779-8310 email: kenabner@gisco.net (Kenneth E. Abner Jr., publisher)

STOKER RECOMMENDED! Houses At The Borderland, a tribute to William Hope Hodgson. Edited by Andy Fairclough, this critically acclaimed electronic anthology is going fast. Featuring 14 terrifying tales from Simon Clark, Tom Piccirilli, DF Lewis, Brian Keene, Tim Lebbon, John B. Ford, Paul Finch, and more. Limited edition of 100 copies on disc, signed by Tim Lebbon, Paul Finch, John B. Ford and DF Lewis. Price: U.S. only $5 plus $1 S&H, U.K. $2.50 plus 50p S&H. Order online via credit card at Masters of Terror: http://members.aol.com/andyfair/house.html. Congratulations to Tom Piccirilli, Simon Clark and Brian Keene, whose stories from this anthology have all been recommended for a Bram Stoker consideration, along with the anthology itself.

WELCOME TO HELL: A Working Guide for the Beginning Writer (Fairwood Press): Written by Tom Piccirilli, this 13k word chapbook is filled with some of the most important aspects of the publishing industry. Due in May of 2000 and expected to go fast. Pre-order now. $5.99 ISBN: 0-9668184-2-3 email: talebones@nventure.com

GAUNTLET PRESS special! From now through December 31st, 1999, anyone purchasing a book from Gauntlet Press will get a free copy of Gauntlet #1 (the collectors edition). This copy normally sells for $12.95 and contained censored fiction from Harlan Ellison and Ray Garton, plus fiction and non-fiction from Ray Bradbury, William F. Nolan, Isaac Asimov, Gary Brandner, Dan Simmons and many more. Mention the special with your order to receive the free copy of Gauntlet #1. Visit our website at: http://www.gauntletpress.com. Phone credit card orders 610-328-5476 or email gauntlet66@aol.com. Snail mail orders to Gauntlet, 309 Powell Rd., Springfield, PA 19064.

AUTOPSY FOR Bloody Muse #6. From the steaming entrails of this undead goddess, like a cornucopia of evil, we have found stories, poems, art, columns and reviews for your tasty consumption. Fiction by Walt Hicks, Jeffrey A. Katt, Rich Logsdon, Duana R. Anderson, David Whitman and Brian Rosenberger. Poetry from Carlton Mellick III, S.L. Robinson, David Messler, Rev. Jon A. Edans, M.W. Anderson and Jeffrey A. Katt. Plus columns and art to tantalize and leave you wanting for more from Adam Niswander, Chris Whitlow and Noel Bebee. And don't forget, we have up to date market news. So get your ass over to Bloody Muse and roll among the dead for a while. Bloody Muse: http://westwood.fortunecity.com/chanel/338/bm/bm.htm

WEIRD TIMES: A Pseudo-Journal of Horror in the Arts. Reviews and commentary on past and present horror books, movies, comics, and more. Issue #14 is now available. Sample copy is cheap, only a buck! Make your dollar payable to Tim Emswiler, 116 Sutherland Rd., Apt. 6, Brighton, MA 02135 or email: wyrdtimes@aol.com



NEXT ISSUE: The return of the Market Updates section, a bunch of brand new listings, new non-fiction and the current results for our Excellence Awards. All that and more in JIH #6. Now put down that turkey-laden fork and go work on something!



JOBS IN HELL is a weekly, electronic newsletter edited by Brian Keene and published by JIHad Publishing. All material within this newsletter is copyright 1999 by Brian Keene, unless otherwise noted. All rights for published articles revert back to author upon publication in JIH. Not responsible for unsolicited submissions. All correspondence may be used for publication or quotes unless otherwise requested.

A one-year/52 issue subscription to JIH is $15 or $10 for members of the HWA or the Chiaroscuro. Payments should be made to Brian Keene, NOT Jobs In Hell, and mailed to Brian Keene, 218 Central Ave. Apt. 4, Lancaster, NY 14086. For inquiries, submissions, market reports, news or any other matters, please send email to jobsinhell@hotmail.com